Which relationships are having the most impact?

Updated: Aug 23, 2019

You & Your Environment

Your relationships are how you interact with your environment. It’s the connection between what is internal and what is external - between your purpose, intention, and what actions and reactions actually take place. If there is a disconnect between any of these areas, it leads to a drain of engagement, energy, and joy.

If there is a disconnect between any of these areas, it leads to a drain of engagement, energy, and joy.

Our most fulfilling experiences occur when we spend time doing what we love with the people we care about.

Getting started

Let’s take the first step, and take a closer look at relationships by breaking down how they impact you. To measure impact, we are going to look at two attributes: frequency and engagement. By mapping your relationships based on these attributes, you can see how often a relationship is impacting you, and how much it's impacting you when an interaction takes place. Let's take a closer look at the formula we will be using:


An effective way to sort your relationships, is to measure where you spend your time. Time spent is a decent measure indicator of importance, and it’s easy to measure.


Another method for sorting relationships is engagement. When looking at engagement, we are trying to capture depth, meaning, and energy.

Where do relationships come from?

Relationships come in all different flavors, settings, and sizes. Relationships are just the exchange of time, energy, information, and much more. Think about all the times you've intentionally or unintentionally been given or received some of these things with another individual or group. Relationships can exist between individuals, pets, and groups of various sizes. They don’t have to be in-person either!

Don't forget your good boy. Your relationship with your pet(s) is likely just as impactful as one with a close friend!


Take out a piece of paper. Draw the impact map (above) and spend 10 minutes or so recording at least 15 relationships and then placing them on your map. Once you've completed your map, take a step back and review it:

  • Which relationships are impacting you the most right now?

  • Are there any outliers?

  • Which areas of the map matter the most to you?

  • Are there any relationships that aren't where you expected to be, or where you wanted them to be?

Does drawing straight lines bother you?

It's normal, promise. Sign up for the free course below and you'll receive printable instructions, examples, templates, and questions.

In this and the next two posts, I'm sharing some of the content from How to map your relationships course. It's a sample of the best course I offer, How to Create Purposeful Relationships. This free mini-course isn't watered down, it's the best there is, in appetizer form. In 3 simple steps you will learn how to identify which relationships are impacting you the most, understand how they are impacting you, and learn how to spot opportunities.

And the best part? It's Free. Like zero dollars. Really.

How to map your relationships - Enroll for free

Ready to read the next post? Read it here.

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