Updated: Aug 12, 2019
Imagine all of your relationships as a system. What's at the center of your system? You. So, to create a system for your highest good, the natural place to start is with ourselves. The simple reason is: You are roughly a 50% part in most of your relationships. You can only control your 50%, and by focusing on 50% you can affect every relationship.
Start with your 50%
Another hurdle is realizing not all of your relationships have the same goal. That seems obvious when we say it out loud... but can you clearly describe what's important in each relationship, what direction it's going, where it needs work, and why it matters? Do you know what's important to you? Do the other person(s) know?
We don't have to know exactly what's going on, have all the answers, or know exactly where we want to end up. Perfect understanding is an unreachable target. However, it is within our ability to know how we are doing, what areas are causing problems, have an idea of which direction we want to go, and identify the underlying factors that are important to us.
Are you creating relationships that are successful and fulfilling for you?
Essentially, start by understanding your 50%. Once you can articulate your intentions, what matters, and why, you can focus on creating relationships that are for your highest good.
It's not selfish.
If your friend found how to be more engaged, more energized, more joyful and shared that with you... would that negatively impact you? No. Is a better version of ourselves better for the people who are important to you? Of course!
Start with you. Be clear about what you want, what direction you want to go, and why it matters to you. Then work to understand the other 50%. Intentionally create your relationships to satisfy the needs of everyone involved. It's the only sustainable way.
Interested in learning how to discover your purpose, create fulfilling relationships, and achieve your dreams? Enroll in the purposeful relationships course.