How do your relationships impact you?

Updated: Aug 23, 2019

A quick FYI: This is post 2 of a 3 part post, check out the 1st post here: Which relationships are having the most impact?

Ready? Let's jump in.

Measuring Impact

Now we are going to discover how each relationship is impacting you. To get a better idea of how to measure how each relationship is impacting you, we’re going to breakdown each relationship into 4 areas: health, work, play, and love. Let's go through those now:


Our health is emotional, physical, mental. Summed up, it’s how well you feel about what you are able to do, what you are doing, and yourself as you do it.


Work is the stuff you do (or have to do). It captures your professional aspirations, your personal goals. You may be paid for this work, or not (e.g. housework).


Play is where you find joy or relaxation. Play is time and energy that helps you recharge and relax. This might be music, watching TV, or attending social gatherings.

Love (Connection)

Love is the connection, community, and belonging you feel with partners, family, friends, and colleagues. Love may mean intimacy, or respect and understanding - it depends on the individual and the relationship.

Who is impacting, where, and how so?

To map out how each relationship is impacting you, we'll use these areas to review your top 5-10 most impact relationships. You’ll start by breaking down the impacts of each relationship to see how they affect your health, love, play, and work. Then, you will consider what’s adding value, what’s not, and what’s negatively impacting you. After completing the matrix, you will step back and spot any insights within individual relationships or as a whole.

By going through each relationship and evaluating their impact upon you in each area, we can start to spot which relationships impact us in different areas. Our goal is to become aware of how our different relationships are impacting us, spot areas that we need to focus on, and uncover opportunities.

Our goal is to become aware of how our different relationships are impacting us, spot areas that we need to focus on, and uncover opportunities.

For example, if you review your relationships and notice that you have a gap in the positive "work" column, that might help you identify why you've been struggling to create momentum at what you aspire to do. You can use this insight to focus on setting the intention to create new relationships, or adjust existing ones so that you can achieve your dreams and find fulfillment in your work.

As you go through the create your chart, consider the following questions:

  • Are there any relationships that are going particularly well for you?

  • Are there any relationships with warning signs?

  • Is there any category that is over or under-represented on your matrix?

Does drawing a chart seem like a lot of work?

That's also completely normal, promise. Sign up for the free course below and you'll receive printable instructions, examples, templates, and questions.

In the last, this, and the next posts, I'm sharing some of the content from How to map your relationships course. It's a sample of the best course I offer, How to Create Purposeful Relationships. This free mini-course isn't watered down, it's the best there is, in appetizer form. In 3 simple steps you will learn how to identify which relationships are impacting you the most, understand how they are impacting you, and learn how to spot opportunities. And the best part? It's Free. Like zero dollars. Really.How to map your relationships - Enroll for free

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